


Bay Leaves and Peppercorns

by Quaxo



Series: Unspoken [1]
Category: The Alienist (TV), The Alienist - Caleb Carr
Genre: F/M, Past Sexual Abuse, that shirt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-08
Updated: 2018-03-08
Packaged: 2019-03-28 13:04:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 608
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13904598
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Quaxo/pseuds/Quaxo
Summary: Mary contemplates the Doctor's shirt





	Bay Leaves and Peppercorns

Bay leaves.

Peppercorns.

Rum.

Those scents might be part of any man’s aftershave -- but the lingering notes of citrus and clove mean it can only be the Doctor’s. The fragrance is strongest around the collar of the shirt, where it once sat snug against his throat, pressed against that freshly groomed skin -- 

Her lips purse as she runs her thumb over the stain on the cuff. There was nothing to be done about the stain -- she’d known that even as she’d help him remove it, her fingertips brushing against his shoulders, the skin hot and damp from his exertions and vexation. Those warm brown eyes, filled with trepidation, meeting her own --

 _Never knew a man might tremble like a maid_ \-- She knew him to an intensively private man, to feel shamed by his withered arm, but in those all to brief moments it struck her that she may be the first woman to have seen him so exposed in possibly years. 

Her core had ached at the idea that she may be his first for long after the Doctor’s departure that evening, and for many evenings afterward. With her duties for the morning done, she retreated to her quarters, to salvage what she could from the dress shirt, but made little progress as she sat alone on her bed, as she had for many afternoons previous. .

She knew of the intimacies that a man might partake in with a woman -- although the Doctor had repeatedly stressed to her that what her father had done was a perversion -- that many women, with a proper partner, found pleasure together in those intimacies -- in sex. While she believed he was telling the truth -- it was inconceivable that he might lie to her -- she also had firmly believed that she would never understand those desires herself. Now though...

He had been the first to hear her, even though she had no voice, to see her -- and at some point her gratitude towards him had changed and grown into this all-consuming, hopeless love that left her prone to fits of childish jealousy whenever the Doctor had feminine companionship. That he never lapsed into impropriety around those perfumed ladies swaddled in satin was little comfort. There would come a day when one of them would catch his eye, and then she would be done for. 

She had never hoped to dream that he might look at her in such a way. Their stations were so disparate, even if she weren’t sullied (although the Doctor would scold her for the thought), that the mere possibility seemed too improbable for fairy tales.

Yet in that moment when he’d been stripped raw before her, she had seen the desire within him that mirrored her own. That knowledge once known could hardly be forgotten, for all his foul temper and cross words to her this morning. 

She held his shirt to her face again, his scent filling her nose. She wonders what it might feel like to kiss him -- for surely the hairs of beard would tickle. Would his mouth taste of tobacco -- or perhaps wine. She can feel the ache between her legs growing once more, and she’s tempted to explore further --

Mr. Moore calling her name disturbs her train of thoughts. She can hear his excitement -- although why he should be looking for her is a mystery. With a sigh she stands to rearrange her skirts, the Doctor’s shirt falling to the floor. 

She means to put it away properly -- but is distracted when Mr. Moore calls for her again, and lets it lie. There will be time later to retrieve and perhaps finally mend it.


End file.
